When a child breaks a rule, time-out is a possible consequence. Using time-out appropriately, however, is important for effective parenting. First of all, understand what time-out is. It is the removal of a child from a place he wants to be to a place he does not want to be. It is removing a child from an activity he likes (playing with toys) to an activity he does not like (sitting in the corner). Thus, if a child is playing with his toys and throws a toy at his sister, he would be removed from his toys and placed in a chair in the corner of the room. He would also, of course, lose the toy item thrown for the rest of the day. When placing a child in time-out, simply direct the child to the chair and tell him (once) that he needs to sit in the chair for a few minutes (one minute per age of the child) for his inappropriate behavior. Do not yell a the child-this does not make the punishment more effective. Do not talk to the child while he is in time-out–this is reinforcing. Once the time is up, tell the child, “Your time is up, you may leave the chair.” Do not lecture, the child understands what he did wrong. If the child leaves the chair before his time is up, the child may be sent back (time starts over) or sent to his bedroom for the same time period. Again, no yelling or lecturing. Act–don’t talk. Be consistent. Remember, the toy is gone for the day. Put it away somewhere and simply say, “When you throw your (name of toy) you can’t play with it for one day.” The key to effective punishment is consistency, not harshness or duration. Please email me if you have any questions.
Thought of the Day
Advertisement
